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Certified Translation: the UK Way

November 24th, 2010

One of my most bizarre experiences as a translator took place some time ago not so long after my move to the UK. An agency asked me to translate a marriage certificate, which then needed to be certified by an affidavit. I had to check in my dictionary what an ‘affidavit’ is and found out that it is a formal statement sworn in front of a notary public. It seemed so far departed from Poland, where to become a sworn translator you not only need the right qualifications (a relevant degree), but also have to take a rigorous competence exam organised by the Ministry of Justice. After that you receive an official stamp and can certify your own translations, which is required in case of most official documentation (marriage, birth certificates, etc).

Photo courtesy of Kriss Szkurlatowski

Photo courtesy of Kriss Szkurlatowski

I arranged a meeting with a notary public who was also the ‘taker of oaths’ and brought my translation with me not sure what to expect of the whole process. The notary’s office was based in a house which could have been taken out of a Dickens’ novel. I was ushered into a room where I waited for the notary, who soon turned up wearing his black robe and looking rather distracted. He looked at my translation and the original text, marked them as page A and page B and then offered me the Bible (sic!) to put my hand on. Amazing! I felt like in an American court movie, while at the same time thinking that I might as well be swearing on Tolkien’s ‘Lord of the Rings’.

He pronounced:
‘Do you swear that the text A is an accurate translation of text B?’
‘I do’ (pharyngeal swallowing sound). He scribbled some sort of signature underneath my translation.
‘OK, please pay £16 at the reception.’
‘But wait a minute! How about some sort of official stamp?’
‘Oh, she wants a stamp. There you go’, he sounded amused, like he was pampering his little niece by letting her play with his stationary.
‘And receipt??’ I really panicked here. I was wondering what evidence there was of me obtaining the ‘certification’ that I could present to the agency who hired me.
‘Oh, the receptionist will give you a receipt. Good bye!’ and he disappeared into the back rooms of the house.

I paid and collected my receipt (which I still have as a keepsake) and left with total confusion and disbelief. The agency was very happy with the translation and they did not question the affidavit. I guess it must have still had the aura of credibility bestowed on it by the notary public’s magical powers to turn a translation into an accurate translation. Cross my heart and hope to die!




Polish Tragedy in Smolensk

April 14th, 2010

Poland mourns the loss of president and country officials

On the 10th of April 2010 the presidential plane crashed while attempting to land in Smolensk, Russia, killing 96 people including the Polish president, Lech Kaczyński, and his wife, Maria Kaczyńska, senior country officials, MPs, the military chiefs and priests. The purpose of the visit in Russia was the 70th anniversary of the Katyń massacre of 20,000 Polish officers and intellectuals by Soviet forces during WWII.

I would like to express my deepest sympathy to the families of the victims of this terrible crash and to all Polish nationals at home and abroad grieving for the loss of lives and talent. We all unite in mourning – my thoughts are with you.




This is now long overdue, back in May I promised a sequel to my earlier post What Poles Could Learn from the Brits, and here it comes – the chance to retaliate and pick on the Brits, or “Angole” – as we call them in Polish slang.

Fiat 126p - Polish 'Maluch'

Going through my list of points to mention in relation to this, I can’t help but think that they all seem to revolve around the ‘fun’ department. Now, Poles may be a melancholic and disgruntled folk on an every day basis, but we sure know how to have fun when it comes to it. For example, parties held at home are so much better than pub get-togethers. Yes, you do have to make some effort preparing them and with cleaning up, but the atmosphere is also so much better. And no one worries about catching the last bus at 11pm – that’s when the party really gets going. At 3am, any sofa or armchair is as good as your own bed, so why not stay for breakfast as well…

Polish parties can also be completely spontaneous. You drop in at your friends after work for a quick chat, and before you notice the table magically fills with some nice nibbles and snacks (Poles are good at making party food out of nothing), a chilled bottle of vodka and you find yourself talking until the early hours about life, the universe and the meaning of friendship.

Not far off partying, is dancing. Brits could definitely learn from Poles how to dance. It is one of the most important social skills for every man (particularly for men, as it comes more naturally to women) to learn a few basic dance steps. Guys who can dance (as in, lead their dance partner) are really in high demand amongst women and so they would only be doing themselves a favour by changing their reticent British attitude. It is somehow embarrassing in Britain for men to dance, but excellence in swinging with your beer glass just doesn’t cut the mustard.

Talking of beer, I am a great fan of the British ale, even though it does take some getting used to. But when it comes to lager beer (Polish equivalent of ‘piwo jasne‘) the Brits have just no clue. Carling? Fosters? That’s perhaps good for rinsing your teeth, but surely not for enjoyment as an ‘alcoholic’ drink? Why take a bland beer from Australia (brewed under license in the UK) as one of your staple pub drinks, when you could be importing the best from the masters of brewing on the ‘continent’? Germany, the Czech Republic or Poland would be far better suppliers of good quality lager. The trouble with the Brits is that drinking beer in this country is not about enjoyment, refreshment on a hot sunny day or the quality of taste – it is about the number of pints you can manage per hour. No offence to my British friends, there are of course exceptions.

Another observation that springs to mind, is the question of elegance. Poles tend to be more elegant than Brits in general, but also dress up for many special occasions to mark their importance. Christmases, Easters, birthdays and baptisms all warrant putting on a special dress in a woman’s case, or wearing a suit and a tie in a man’s case. In Britain, the only occasion where I have seen people make a real effort to dress up are weddings. Don’t you all British girls and women just die waiting to show off your evening dresses a bit more often? Is a Christmas family dinner nothing more than yet another meal so ‘I might as well wear the same T-shirt that I had on when washing my car this morning’? Brits should definitely learn how to make special occasions special.

OK, I think I am done with my tirade. Got it off my chest and I feel much better now. I hope none of my British family members and friends take any of what I have said above personally. I love you as you are and you have welcomed me in your country, but as an expat I do miss Polishness and want to celebrate what is good about it. Just like you would miss you baked beans for breakfast in Poland.




I have now lived in the UK for over four years and had a chance to observe the ways of the British. With a large Polish population living and working in Britain since Poland’s joining the EU in May 2004, there are some things which I think Poles could learn from these close encounters of the third kind and vice versa. But let’s start with my own folk.

mini-cooper

1. First and foremost, Poles should take some driving lessons from the British!


Before coming to the UK, I have never encountered such politeness in drivers – giving way to each other regardless of the traffic regulations – just because they are not in a rush or just feeling generous. An appreciative wave from behind the wheel is something I have never seen in Poland and something one witnesses here all the time.

Is it the high car congestion and narrow British roads that have made politeness so necessary? If you have driven in Devon on some country roads with passing bays every few miles or if you have ever tried finding a parking space in Brighton or central London then you know what I am talking about. Good driving is not a luxury – it is a survival skill!

2. Tolerance and multiculturalism

Britain is the most multicultural society I have ever experienced. Its capacity to accommodate people from other cultures seems to be endless. As an outsider coming to the UK, my experiences have only been positive – as an employee, as a student, as an independent professional or as a new family member. The fact I am foreign never seems to make any difference in my everyday interactions with the British people, and if so then only to my advantage. The Polish society would benefit immensely if it could learn from the Brits how to be more tolerant and open-minded to the different and the new.

3. Number three on my list – bureaucracy.

Registering as self-employed in England took one phone call. It is not as easy in Poland from what I hear from my friends and according to this very interesting report Doing Business 2009 by the World Bank Poland ranks 176th in the world for ease of doing business compared to the 6th position held by the United Kingdom. Now, that is a big gap! Come on Poland, do something about it.

4. Finally, and I am just about to say something completely sacrilegious, Poles could take from the Brits a few cooking tips as well.


OK, I am not questioning the superiority of Polish cuisine and cooking techniques, but merely remarking on the fact that the British seem to be consuming more vegetables and a wider variety too: sweet potato (batat), celery (seler naciowy), swede (brukiew), turnip (rzepa), courgette (cukinia), aubergine (oberżyna) and asparagus (szparagi) are regulars on the British table. Why not add them to the Polish menu also?

And talking of food, I would love to see a few more curry houses opening in Polish cities. If I were to move back to Poland, the one thing I would most certainly miss is a good curry!

This is all I can think of at the moment, although this list is by no means finished. If you have your own observations and ideas on the subject of What Poles Could Learn from the Brits – please put it down in the comments! I also rush to say that there will be a chance for retaliation when I write next on What Brits Could Learn from the Poles! And I am telling you, the list is getting long…